I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
