Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i think my cat just said my name.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize