if i died would you start the facebook group?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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