Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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