You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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