maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
