So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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