if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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