I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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