in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
