the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
