my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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