I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
