The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
