Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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