Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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