Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
