It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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