the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
