I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
