:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The beer is more important than you right now.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
third nipple confirmed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
