I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
