did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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