end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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