She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
