white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
