Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
