I hate your face
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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