Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
