her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize