the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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