I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
