I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
