I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
