why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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