sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
