"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
