We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
