well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
