so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
