I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
