i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
