i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
