I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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