You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
