I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
