My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
