I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize