I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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