New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
