I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
