she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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