We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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