i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He shit in the fireplace
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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