im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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