Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
