omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize