I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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