so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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