There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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